Back to Business

I’m back at school, in the middle of the second week of classes. I’m already overwhelmed and full of stress. I have a ton of reading every night. Like 48 pages just for one class and then I have less than a week to read a whole book for another. But I’m not going to procrastinate. I’m going to stay on top of my assignments and stay organized. I’m going to get good grades and bring my GPA up.

I’m about done with my study abroad application. Just waiting on my letters of recommendation and I have to meet with my advisor. Everything is due September 8th. Then it’ll only be a few weeks after that I’ll find out if I’ve been accepted and where. I hope it’ll all work out and I will be able to go to Plymouth. I can’t stop thinking and talking about it, it’s probably driving my friends and family crazy. I just can’t help how excited I am. Ugh I want to go so badly. 

I will keep this blog updated as much as I can. Updates on schooo, fun social activities, study abroad plans and anything else interesting. 

Things are looking up

I think one of the best feelings in the world is when you want something so badly and you work so hard for it and things actually start falling into place to make that happen. I have gotten into such a habit of getting my hopes up and being disappointed so I’ve been trying not to do that this time. I have such a huge goal for the next six months and things that have been happening lately are giving me more hope that my goal is actually going to happen. 

Anyone who truly knows me and has read this far probably knows that I’m talking about studying abroad. I mean it’s all that I’ve been talking about for months and all that I’ve been working towards. I just found out that I got a scholarship that I have been hoping to get in because of it, it seems like I’ll be able to afford to go abroad. It’s a great feeling to finally get something that you’ve been wanting your entire life. And I know I sound really negative when I say that things don’t always turn out the way that I want them to, but it happens more than not. So I’ve been trying not to get my hopes up for this because it really seemed like a 50-50 chance. I’m still trying not to get my hopes up because you never know what could happen, but I’m still hoping and working for it. 

I’m going to try to remember to post on here more often because I’ve been neglecting this blog a lot lately. But I’m going to keep updates about school and life and study abroad and all that fun stuff. If I can do abroad, I want to make a blog to document all of the things that I do, and I’m not sure whether I’m going to turn this blog into that or just create a separate one. I’ll probably just create a separate one so I can keep this one as it is and write about whatever I feel like writing about. I’ll try to write another post soon!

I’m Back! Feat. A Movie Recommendation

It has been months since I have written on this blog and I feel very guilty for it. I had many post ideas I was going to do, but it is too late to do them because of the time of year it is. I promise to not wait this long before writing on here again.

My last post was written in February, I believe. A lot has happened since then! For starters, I finished my first year of college! My freshman year went by so terrifyingly fast I can’t believe it. Another thing that happened is that my boyfriend, Robert got into the School of Music at UNCG and will be attending this fall! He’s also starting a new program that’s never been done, so that’s exciting. I’ll be sure to post about adventures we have with our new little squad once the year gets going. Another exciting thing that happened was that I got a new job at Vans! I’ve been a fan of Vans for years. My older brother and uncle both happened to have worked for Vans in the past, so that’s another reason I was interested in working there. So far, I really like it! My coworkers are great and they make the job so much fun. I also like getting to wear my everyday outfit to work!

I decided to make this post a mash up of catching up with me and a movie recommendation! A couple days ago my boyfriend and I decided to go see Secret Life of Pets, but when we got to the theater, the only available seats were in the very front row (this is the kind of theater with reclining seats where you reserve your exact spot), so we decided to find a different movie to watch. Best decision. We chose to see Swiss Army Man, starring Paul Dano and Daniel Radcliffe. I had seen previews for this movie and had been curious to see it. It was the weirdest movie I have ever seen. I loved every minute of it. It is about a man named Hank who is on a deserted island about to end his life. He suddenly sees a man wash up onto the shore, which pushes him to stay alive. This (very gassy) corpse propels Hank like a boat to the mainland. Hank ends up dragging this corpse around with him until suddenly, the corpse, named Manny, starts coming back to life. This movie shows the adventures of Hank and Manny trying to find their way home and forming a friendship along the way.

The movie itself was very odd, but made me think. I loved everything from the characters, the plot, and even the soundtrack, which is awesome by the way. It’s filled with a capella type music that tells the story as it goes. My favorite is definitely “Montage”. Give it a listen!

This film was popular in festivals such as Sundance. I’ve never really looked into many indie movies, but this one has gotten Robert and I into an indie film craze. The next one we plan on seeing is “Captain Fantastic”. This movie is good for anyone that likes adventures, friendship, and anything weird. I plan on buying this as soon as it comes out on DVD. If you’ve seen this movie or plan to, leave a comment telling me what you thought or any questions you have!

Thanks for reading!

-Shayna

What you really learn in college..

Most freshmen go into college not knowing exactly what to expect. With a million questions running through their minds, they feel everything from nerves to excitement. It’s the time you go from child to adult and you basically choose what you want to do for the rest of your life. 

Choosing a major is exciting and scary. What if you change your mind? Will I really be able to get a job with this? So many things make people scared when choosing a major. Once you decide what it is you’re going to study, the classes shortly follow. As awesome as it sounds to sit in a classroom and learn about ions and protons in chemistry, the real fun is the classes related to your major. 

There are so many things you’ll be able to learn and experience. But what do you really learn in college? 

The biggest things I’ve learned so far in my short time at UNCG, aren’t what has been taught in a classroom. I have learned things about myself that I never knew. I thought I was a social butterfly, but once I got on my own, I completely flipped. I learned the most creative ways to mix foods. Why have I never tried Reece’s Puffs Rice Krispie treats before? But most importantly, I learned how to survive without my parents on my back. 

College isn’t just about getting your degree and trying to get a 4.0 gpa. It’s allowing young people to transition between childhood and adulthood and getting us ready for the real world. My mom won’t always be there to remind me of meetings and how to not procrastinate. I have been forced to learn from firsthand experience what it takes to rely on myself. 

The amount of growing up that happens in the first year of college is underestimated. The number of things you learn in your classes is great, but the real learning is done outside of the classroom. 

Decisions, Decisions

As I have talked about in a previous post, I have been spending this school year thinking about what I want to do with my life. I have thought about every aspect of multiple majors. Thinking about possible jobs, opportunities, classes, and what makes me happy, I finally made a decision that is best for me.

I am so excited and relieved to decide that I will major in English and minor in Music! I am so relieved to have made my decision and am able to share it with people. I feel confident that I have chosen what is best for me.

Writing has given me so much joy and I could see myself pursuing as a career. Being able to write what I think is not only a stress reliever, but also somewhat of a time capsule. I can look back at things I have written and remember exactly how I felt and what I was going through. It’s a way to document the way I see things, and for others to see through my perspective. 

Music will always be something that I love, but I realized that it is more of a hobby for me. The idea of being a band director always sounded incredible, but I’m not the kind of person for it. It was very difficult for me to let that dream go. Now that I’ve done it, it’s not so terrifying anymore. 

I actually feel excited about taking classes for my major. What I’m studying will no longer feel like a chore. I never knew that what I was feeling wasn’t normal until I talked to someone that felt the same way. This person decided to change their major from music and she really helped me realize that what I was feeling isn’t how you’re supposed to feel about your major. I’m supposed to be happy. What I was doing was no longer making me happy. I’m so grateful that I found something I really love and have made the decision to pursue it.

Letter to My Present Self

Dear Shayna, 

Put yourself out there more. You complain about how lonely you are, but don’t exactly do anything to change that. I know that it’s scary trying to get involved with clubs and groups this late in the year, but I don’t think you’ll regret it. Try and meet new people. Don’t let go of the person you were in high school. You were so outgoing and were so involved. Don’t give up on that. Try to be that way again. 

Work hard in your classes. I know it’s tough having this hectic schedule and so much to do, but when it’s all over, you will be so proud of yourself and have grown so much. Not only will you grow in your work ethic and lack of procrastination, but also in ability to tackle so many things.

Get out more. Simple as that. Go explore Greensboro, it’s a very cool city. There are so many coffee shops you haven’t been to, museums that go unseen, and vintage stores that are right up your alley. Take a day to go downtown and just see everything. 

Discover who you are. Don’t be afraid to change your major if that is what is going to make you happy. Put your happiness first before the expectations people have of you. Don’t worry about changing your mind about something you have wanted for so long. Things aren’t always the way you think they are and that’s okay. Find new interests. Bring back old interests. Find out who you are and do what makes you happy. 

Hold onto your friends and family back home. They’re so important and have shaped you into the person you are. Don’t forget to thank them and tell them how important they are to you. Never take anything for granted. 

Be you. Be happy. 

Love, Present You

What do I want to do?

As of now, I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. I am currently a music education major and am planning on adding an English minor. But is that really what I want to do? The more I question myself, the more unsure I am. 

I am on the right path no matter what I decide my major and minor to be. If I choose a music major and English minor, I am on track. If I decide to major in English and minor in music, I am also on track. I would be finished with my minor basically after this semester, but would only have to be in an ensemble next year. 

The more I get into writing and analyzing literature, the more I feel comfortable with it and like its something I would enjoy doing as a job. I even started looking up jobs I could get with an English degree. Right now I am leaning more towards the journalism route, or working for a publishing company. 

Where I am unsure of myself, it makes me want to ask people for opinions. I need to stop doing that because I need to figure it out for myself. I can’t let other people’s opinions for my life affect what I choose, because I’m the one that will be living it. 

As I go through the rest of this semester and think about what exactly is best for me, I hope to be relieved when I make a decision and finally feel excited about what I am studying.

Stress

Everyone goes through stress and it affects people differently. Lately, my schedule has been so hectic between classes,lessons, rehearsals, and school work. I barely have time to do things that I want to do anymore. I have been wanting to go to the gym but I don’t even have a free hour to go. My time is completely booked. That has taken a toll on me. I get stressed out to a point and I’ll sometimes even lash out at people close to me. I feel horrible afterwards and it’s never something I meant to do. It just happens.

There are things I can do to help me feel less stressed out. One thing is to write. Just writing can help me feel so much better. I can write a letter to someone, just write down my thoughts on paper, or write something for this blog, which is what I am doing right now. It helps me to vent and get my feelings out. Cheesy, I know, but it works. Listening to music also is a big helper. I can just put on some Elton John and let the stress just melt away. Not really, but you know what I mean. Going to the gym is also a stress reliever. Working out releases endorphins and endorphins make you happy and happy people don’t kill people! (Sorry for the Legally Blonde reference.)  But it’s a proven fact. Working out makes you feel better and releases stress, while also making you stronger and a healthier person, which helps boost your confidence. It’s just one big chain reaction.

I’m trying to relieve stress in healthy ways and get that into my routine. This semester is only going to get more difficult and I have to be in control of my feelings and stress levels so I don’t  explode. Literally. 

So what I was basically trying to say is to be aware of your stress and try to manage it in healthy ways. You will feel much better if you do. Trust me.

Loneliness

I have always been a very independent person. I never minded doing things by myself and I always needed some alone time where I could just sit in my room and listen to music, read,or just stare at Instagram for hours. 

I have always known that there was a difference between being alone and being lonely, but it took me going to college for me to realize how different it actually is. Being known as a social butterfly my whole life made it shocking for my family when they found out that I haven’t really made any friends since I’ve gotten here. I have people that I have met in my classes and will sometimes hang out with, but I have yet to find someone that I can really call my friend. It didn’t really bother me at first when I would go to the dining hall and eat by myself or have multiple nights in a row just sitting in my room. But after being in school for an entire semester and having this constant alone time become my daily routine, I truly feel lonely. 

I have my boyfriend and my friends in Raleigh, but that can only get me so far while I’m in Greensboro. I have gotten into this routine of loneliness and it just makes me constantly feel discouraged. After a while it gets a little old eating every meal by yourself and never doing anything besides sit in bed and watch Netflix. What makes it the hardest is people watching. Being alone makes you a lot more observant of what is going on around you. I see other people making plans and doing exciting things and I hear all about the fun things that my roommate does with her friends. 

So not only am I physically alone most of the time, but when I am in a room filled with people and still feel alone, that’s when it becomes loneliness.

The Little Things

As I have mentioned in previous posts, my boyfriend Robert is a senior in high school while I’m in college. I have talked about the struggles of it, but now I’m going to talk about some positives. 

Being away makes me really appreciate the little things. It also makes seeing him so much better because I miss him tons when I’m away. I love any time that we get to spend together on a weekend or a day off. 

I was lucky enough that Robert and his mom stopped by on their way back from Boone today. We had an afternoon full of cheesecake, fancy pizza, and fun. It may seem like just a normal afternoon, but it really meant a lot that they would stop just to spend time with me and it gave me extra time with Robert (I could never have enough time with him).

We went to downtown Greensboro and had a late lunch at Mellow Mushroom and ate some funky pizza, one with shrimp and bleu cheese and the other with mushrooms and pesto! We ate some awesome cheesecake and got some shopping done. 

It’s days like these that remind me how lucky I am to have someone that cares so much about me that I also care about. Robert truly is my best friend. 

Now enjoy some pictures!